Athletes ofter believe that the feelings and emotions they experience are determined by external events, situations, and the behaviours of others.
For example...
We may hear ourselves say,
'My coach made me so nervous'
'My teammate made me so angry'
'The holiday made feel so relaxed'
'I'm depressed because I didn't get selected'.
What is the assumption underlying these statements:
That someone or something other than ourselves was directly determining the feelings we experience.
We come to these conclusions automatically without asking for oursleves if this assumption is true.
However, if we stop to analyse the process that links an external situation to our emotional response, we will find that there is a step in between.
How our thoughts influence our feelings?
What really makes us feel and respond the way we do is often not the situation or the words and actions of another person, but how we perceive that situation or that person's actions.
It is how we see something or someone and what we think about it or them that really influences how we feel.
It is how our thoughts and beliefs about an event that significantly influence our emtions and actions.
What am I feeling?
It is often difficult to know exactly what we are feeling, and sometimes it can also be difficult to put into words.
The list below contains words that descibe feelings and can help you better understand the connection between your thinking and feelings.
Tense
Enraged
Scared
Annoyed
Happy
Panicky
Unhappy
Anxious
Depressed
Automatic Thoughts
We are often not aware of our automatic thoughts but they play an important role in our emotional well-being.
There are three kinds of automatic thoughts:
Neutral Thoughts (e.g., 'I think I will buy water from the shop')
Positive Thoughts (e.g., 'This is somethinf I can do really well')
Negative Thoughts (e.g., 'I often find it hard to concentrate')
Automatic thoughts often reflect worries and concerns.
However they can be anything at all; anything we have ever seen, heard , or learnt
In addition, it can be anything we know about from any source at all.
Obviously, though, negative automatic thoughts are the ones that can cause us emotional distress.
Feelings are not thoughts
We might be used to talking about thoughts and feelings as being part of the same experience, but it is more helpful to seperate them and remember that feelings are not thoughts.
You might hear a person saying 'I think I am anxious', but they're probably thinking something like 'Everyone will laugh at me' and feel anxious as a result.
More commonly, you might hear someone sayin something like 'I feel like my coach doesn't like me' when they are really thinking 'My coach doesnt like me' and feeling down.
Being aware of your feelings and your thoughts is the first step towards feeling better. If thinking influences feelings, then it makes sense tthat if you want to change the way you feel, you need to change the way you think.
